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After several hours of contractions, pain that has been severely dulled by anesthetics, and delivery, you are handed a tiny bundle wrapped in hospital issued blankets. In that instant you determine that you are going to be the best mother you can be- you find your purpose.
For some, finding their purpose as a mother means losing themselves as a person. When the children grow up and leave, this mother feels that she no longer has a purpose.
Being a purposeful mom or influencer has nothing to do with where you spend 40 hours of your week. It has everything to do with the goals you set for yourself and your family and the steps you take to reach that goal.
Purpose for us means mothering with a desired result, a goal to shoot for. Mothering with determination and resoluteness.
For me, being a purposeful mom means thinking about all of the facets that make me who I am as bullseye targets. Each action is an arrow. The bullseye is my goal. What do I need to do to hit my target?
- Prayer- “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it.” Ps. 127:1. I can attempt to be purposeful, but unless I invite the Lord into my endeavor, those efforts will be in vain.
- Practice- The old saying practice makes perfect is true even in purposeful mothering. Sometimes my decisions won’t hit my target. Sometimes I will hit the target but not the bullseye. The more decisions I make, the more practice I get at making decisions that will get me closer to my desired end result.
- Time- No one becomes an expert overnight. It takes practice over time to be able to hit the target at almost every attempt. Being patient is crucial to learning to be a purposeful mom… something I have to work on daily.
The idea of Purposeful Mothering sounds great, but what does it look like in real life? One evening, I sat down with a cup of coffee (I always do my best thinking with coffee in hand) and wrote out all of the most important aspects of my life and what I needed to do to be more intentional in them. Here is the outline I came up with.
- My relationship with the Lord- Find a time and place that will give me uninterrupted time to spend in Bible reading an prayer.
- My relationship with my husband- I need to pray for him, spend time with him without the kids around, and care for his needs.
- My relationship with my children- I need to pray for them, spend focused time with them, and spend time training them and their hearts in the Lord.
- Our relationship with money- Make wise choices with our money, care for the belongings we already have, continue to stay out debt, and use our money to further the kingdom of God.
- Taking care of myself- Make time for annual check ups, make time for daily exercise, read six to eight books each year for myself, and purpose to eat healthier foods.
- Taking care of our home- Create doable routines and schedules for our family, be alert to what comes into our home, and keep the stuff to a minimum.
Being purposeful means that this list will change over time as I become aware of other needs within these categories (which means in the future, you can expect to see an update to this post).
Being purposeful means I am going to need to stay alert to the needs of my family, because they are ever changing.
Being purposeful means I will need to stay alert to my own needs because if I don’t I will not be available to care for the needs of my family.
The more purposeful I am, the more my family will see it, and being purposeful will not just be “Mom’s thing” it will become the way of life for our family.