Potty Training and Weight Loss

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.” Luke 16:10a NLT

Don’t let the title of this post confuse you. I don’t have a new formula for weight loss that’s connected to the task of potty training  your child…

Yes, I know there are many weight loss fads out there… But, believe me, this is not one of them.

What I have found, however, is a connection between the two that I thought might be of some encouragement to you all.

Potty training was once described to me by another mom I met as “one of the hardest things” she’d ever done. And while it may seem like an exaggerated statement, it’s amazing how many things in life that we can view that way…

I know when it came to the idea of potty training, I could only imagine how difficult it would be.

And so……What did I do?

I. PUT. IT. OFF.

While it was encouraging to know that other moms agreed that boys often take longer to learn to go potty than girls, at a certain point I realized….

It was finally time to stop putting off this responsibility and actually begin intentionally working on it with my son.

“Stay home with your son for three days straight, work on it intensely, and it will be a done deal.”

It’s a strategy that’s worked for many moms and one I’ve heard from some of my amazing mom friends that I respect and admire.

Um…. But there was just one problem…

I’m not the kind of mom who “can” stay at home three days straight and work on it.

I like to go to the gym and run errands most days. It’s just not in my nature to hunker down three days back-to-back for potty training “boot camp”.

So, then… What’s a mom like me to do?

Hm…. I needed a different approach.

But what?

Although we may not always hear an audible voice of God telling us what to do, you want to know something… He does speak to our hearts if we’re listening.

And what I felt He was saying to me was this…

“Just begin working on it when you can. Work on it when you ARE home.” (Basically, “do the possible”.)

Hmmmm….. That I could do!

With this approach, I didn’t have to rearrange my life to mimic someone else’s success story in potty training. I could simply do what was possible for me!

And, you know what! That’s the case with many things in life as well.

Yes, at first glance many things may seem like they will be “the hardest things we’ve ever done.” The tasks ahead seem so BIG and daunting…

And yet, I believe all that the Lord wants from us is a willing heart and for us to simply do what IS POSSIBLE.

Around 2007, I weighed close to 160 pounds…. And oh… how I hate looking at pictures of myself from that time.

But you know, what? I didn’t stay that way.

Why not….?

Because I decided to take the small steps toward seeing change in my life…

I chose to do the possible.

And guess what… I was able to lose about 40 of those pounds by my wedding in 2010. (Maybe, at some point I’ll share a blog post with before and after photos, but not today…You’ll just have to keep reading the blog and stay tuned for that..)

Did the weight drop off suddenly?

It was a process. But little steps led to bigger ones.

I simply started by running around the house for exercise and eating healthier.

Over time, I added in more exericse, and then finally joined a gym where I was able to get some advice and a helpful plan from a trainer.

Yes, it took time and effort to drop the weight I wanted to lose, but little by little the pounds came off.

God gave me the will power and a path for success. Success fed on itself, and seeing my transformation and my dreams become a reality propelled me to continue on.

Oh… We all want the end results. We want our kids to be able to go potty independently, and we would all love to be the best version of ourselves that we know is possible.

But it all has to start somewhere.

No, you don’t have to copy someone else’s path to success…although sometimes, those paths can be of help.

You simply need to have the willingness to say “yes” to the vision God gives you and do what is possible for you day by day.

Will it take time? Yes.

Will it require more intention and dedication? Yes and yes.

But if the change you desire means that much to you… You will take the necessary steps- however small they may be- to achieve the goals and dreams you want to reach.

Yes, friends…. “The hardest things in life” really are possible to achieve.

And it’s following God’s leading, taking those small steps, and remaining faithful in the process that is the best place to begin.

Make 2017 a Year of No Regrets

Regret is a joy thief that hijacks your present and also your future.

It keeps you ever-grieving over the past and incapable of moving forward into a brighter tomorrow.

Rather than making the progress you’d like to see, regret keeps you circling the same mountain again and again…wishing for change but not seeing much at all.

And instead of seeing “failures” to meet your own expectations as mere “potholes” along the journey, you set up camp within them, defining yourself by your setbacks.

We all have expectations for ourselves.

For some, it’s living a healthier lifestyle and getting in shape…. For others, it’s following a better daily routine and becoming more organized… And for others, it’s giving more attention to the people and things that matter most…. The list could go on and on…

We all have goals and areas we want to work on….

And these are all good things.

But, hey! “No biggie” on meeting these goals…

The New Year is approaching, and our New Years’ resolutions will be the cure to everything we want to see different in our lives, right?

Everything will be better on January 1st… when the “magical” refresh button is pushed and change finally becomes possible.

Um….The only thing is…

Let’s be honest…

What typically happens to us when…

…After two weeks into the New Year of dieting, we cave into eating that delicious looking gourmet donut that was calling our name in the break room?

Or…

…We procrastinate too long on a project we promised ourselves we’d finish right away?

Or…

…We miss an opportunity to express love to our family or friends because we allowed ourselves to become distracted with things that were less important?

Then what?

I’ll tell you, because I know…

We beat ourselves up and define ourselves by our failures.

“I’m so undisciplined,” we tell ourselves.

“I just can’t get my act together,” we sigh.

If you’re anything like I know I’ve been, we subconsciously label ourselves based on our failures to meet our own expectations…

And so the cycle continues….

Because… “As a man” (or woman) “thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7 KJV)

In our minds we have labeled ourselves based on our inabilities to fulfill the expectations we have of ourselves, and what’s even worse is that when we do see someone else who meets the expectations we have for ourselves, we rank ourselves lower, causing us to lose even more joy and perpetuating the cycle of defeat.

If this sounds familiar at all to you…I have some refreshing news for you.

There is hope.

And it doesn’t have to wait until January 1st to be experienced….

Because…. “His mercies are new every morning”… (Lamentations 3:22-23 KJV)

No, the Lord doesn’t want us to continue defining ourselves by our failures to meet our expectations.

He so lovingly and faithfully offers us a clean slate every day…if we choose to accept it. 

We can start each day to move forward little by little with His help and strength.

And thankfully, this doesn’t have to wait for the New Year… (Although I know we often enjoy the “newness” of a completely brand new calendar where the details of life have yet to be written.)

But, here begs the question… Will there be days in this New Year of 2017, where I will feel displeased with the decisions that I’ve made? When I eat the slice of cake and bowl of ice cream that I “promised” myself I wouldn’t or when I fail to keep the daily routine I’ve made for myself?

Yes, I’m sure there may be days like this…although I do aspire to be more disciplined in my choices.

And yet, while I continue to hold high expectations for myself, something I feel the Lord speaking into my heart as this year comes to an end is this…

When you fail to meet your own expectations, rather than camping out in regret, and allowing it to undue your day… keep moving forward.

Don’t stay there. Don’t dwell on the short coming. Press on.

Our Heavenly Father wants us to live in the joy and freedom His Son came to abundantly give us (John 10:10), and we have His mercy, grace, and love to rest and run to at every moment. (Hebrews 4:16)

Neither my successes nor my failures are what defines who I am.

I belong to God, and I am His forever. 

He chose me. He loves me. And He has great purposes for my life. (1 Peter 2:9 & John 3:16)

It was the Lord that started the good work in me, and He promises to be faithful to complete it. (Philippians 1:6) No, I won’t stay where I am forever. My life is always forward moving, because I have Him in it.

It is Him working in my life that causes me to “will and to do according to His good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13)

So, as I yield myself to Him and follow His leading, I know I will arrive at my desired destination.

And as for regret….?

That’s something I don’t want to carry into the New Year. Instead, I want to carry God’s mercy and grace everywhere I go, running to Him when I fail and allowing Him to pick me back up again so that I  can once again stand and move forward into all that He has planned and purposed for my life.

“For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, But the wicked stumble in time of calamity.” (Proverbs 24:16 NASB)

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19 KJV)

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Choosing Purpose

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After several hours of contractions, pain that has been severely dulled by anesthetics, and delivery, you are handed a tiny bundle wrapped in hospital issued blankets. In that instant you determine that you are going to be the best mother you can be- you find your purpose.

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For some, finding their purpose as a mother means losing themselves as a person. When the children grow up and leave, this mother feels that she no longer has a purpose.

Being a purposeful mom or influencer has nothing to do with where you spend 40 hours of your week. It has everything to do with the goals you set for yourself and your family and the steps you take to reach that goal.

Purpose for us means mothering with a desired result, a goal to shoot for. Mothering with determination and resoluteness.

 

choosing-purpose

For me, being a purposeful mom means thinking about all of the facets that make me who I am as bullseye targets. Each action is an arrow. The bullseye is my goal. What do I need to do to hit my target?

  • Prayer- “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that  build it.” Ps. 127:1. I can attempt to be purposeful, but unless I invite the Lord into my endeavor, those efforts will be in vain.
  • Practice- The old saying practice makes perfect is true even in purposeful mothering. Sometimes my decisions won’t hit my target. Sometimes I will hit the target but not the bullseye. The more  decisions I make, the more practice I get at making decisions that will get me closer to my desired end result.
  • Time- No one becomes an expert overnight. It takes practice over time to be able to hit the target at almost every attempt. Being patient is crucial to learning to be a purposeful mom… something I have to work on daily.

The idea of Purposeful Mothering sounds great, but what does it look like in real life? One evening, I sat down with a cup of coffee (I always do my best thinking with coffee in hand) and wrote out all of the most important aspects of my life and what I needed to do to be more intentional in them. Here is the outline I came up with.

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  1. My relationship with the Lord- Find a time and place that will give me uninterrupted time to spend in Bible reading an prayer.
  2. My relationship with my husband- I need to pray for him, spend time with him without the kids around, and care for his needs.
  3. My relationship with my children- I need to pray for them, spend focused time with them, and spend time training them and their hearts in the Lord.
  4. Our relationship with money- Make wise choices with our money, care for the belongings we already have, continue to stay out debt, and use our money to further the kingdom of God.
  5. Taking care of myself- Make time for annual check ups, make time for daily exercise, read six to eight books each year for myself, and purpose to eat healthier foods.
  6. Taking care of our home- Create doable routines and schedules for our family, be alert to what comes into our home, and keep the stuff to a minimum.

Being purposeful means that this list will change over time as I become aware of other needs within these categories (which means in the future, you can expect to see an update to this post).

Being purposeful means I am going to need to stay alert to the needs of my family, because they are ever changing.

Being purposeful means I will need to stay alert to my own needs because if I don’t I will not be available to care for the needs of my family.

The more purposeful I am, the more my family will see it, and being purposeful will not just be “Mom’s thing” it will become the way of life for our family.

Am I Beautiful?

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Ok, tell me I’m wrong… But do you ever feel as a woman like there’s just something more you need to be or have different in your life before you can officially say you “feel” beautiful?

Oh…. Maybe it’s your hair, your skin’s condition, your weight, your teeth, your nose…

…Achievements you want to attain…

…Your personality that you’d love to change…

Perhaps you want to be more outgoing or, on the other hand, more refined…

Regardless of what it is, though…

There’s just that one other thing you need in your life that will finally give you permission to check off that last little box on your mental “I-finally-feel-beautiful” checklist.

Oh, trust me, I have my little boxes as well.

And while I am working on those areas, and honestly believe we all should work on being the best version of ourselves we can be…

Somehow I’m absolutely convinced that checking that last little box off isn’t going to be what ultimately convinces me.

You want to know how I know…?

…Because I’ve checked off that box once before… and for some odd reason… I still didn’t feel as though it was good enough to be checked.

Furthermore…even though I checked off that last little box, another box appeared for something else making me still feel inferior.

Yes, we all should have goals in life.

We all should do the things possible to make ourselves feel outwardly beautiful. There are definitely things we can all do to improve ourselves, and we should do our best to work on them. Goals are definitely important to our overall feelings of well-being.

But one thing that saddens me is that many women simply cannot give themselves permission to feel beautiful until they’ve reached the end of their goal….

And yet at the same time, I think somewhere deep inside we all long to feel beautiful and have someone to tell us we are… before we can be “fully” convinced for ourselves.

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In some sense I think that’s one reason why “selfies” have become such a popular phenomenon these days. (…And, no, I don’t claim to be an expert in “selfie” psychology.)

But somehow as I see multiple selfies within a short period of time, something inside of me says, “Women want to know they’re beautiful. They want confirmation that what they see in the mirror really is true and visible to others.”

They simply want affirmation.

How do I know this?

Um…Because just a few years ago that  was me too.

Don’t get me wrong. I do take selfies every now and then (many of which never get seen), but I definitely have stopped posting them as frequently.

Why?

Well, for a few reasons…

For one, God helped me understand the deeper reason “why” I was needing to share my selfies so much.

He began to heal my heart of my need to “request” that affirmation from others.

And more importantly, He also began to show me that my purpose in life is not to highlight myself but Him.

Have I arrived at a place where I can officially say I don’t ever desire that affirmation from outside sources?

Well….. Unfortunately, I have not. I’m still a work in progress. But, trust me, God’s working on me….

Of course there are definitely still days when I want someone to tell me I’m beautiful because (even though I may think so at times myself) I think it’s still in us to just want that extra affirmation from the outside. Who doesn’t want to feel good about themselves and get confirmation about it, right?

But you know what…?

Even that affirmation is never enough. We all still end up needing more………..the next day, the next week, and on and on it goes.

Why is it that the compliments just don’t stick or keep us in a place where we remain fully convinced that we are?

Maybe, it’s because our definition of beauty is flawed…

If you want to know the real scoop about beauty…..

Outward beauty is temporary… Look at the godly great grandmother in her 80’s who’s lived a full life but now looks nothing like her younger self. But here she is… smiling in her hospital bed surrounded by three generations of family members. They treasure her dearly for the joy she’s been in life and will always be grateful for the godly legacy she’s leaving behind.

Beauty isn’t the mark of our value… Look at the military servicemen and women whose faces are almost unrecognizable after surviving a hit by explosives. They risk their own lives to preserve our freedom and safety….and return to short-lived recognition followed by lifelong injuries and scars.

Beauty is “vain”… A focus on beauty so often makes life all about “us”. And thank God our eyes are situated inside of our sculls rather than outside our heads because, in this day and age- if it were the other way around- I’m sure many of us would stare at ourselves all day to see how good we looked.

But most importantly… Something beauty was never meant to be… is the main focus of our lives or the measure of our success in life.

It was never meant to define us, to show us who we are as women, or to show us how much we are worth.

It was never meant to be the deciding factor as to whether we were worth being loved or not.

It was never meant for any of that.

And ultimately… Beauty fades…

But you know what… Beauty can be a really AWESOME word when redefined.

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And if it’s true that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, God’s eyes have a really awesome perspective of what true beauty really is…. And it’s not limited by our weight, the straightness of our teeth or whether we’re having a good or bad hair day… Not any of that.

According to God, true beauty springs out of who we are on the inside… This is what truly gives us permission to feel beautiful…

And, you know… Another cool thing…. Is that the beauty of those inner qualities never fades like outward “beauty” so often does.

Our Heavenly Father’s definition of beauty is not limited by the numbers on the scale, how we look in the mirror, or how others have treated us.

…Because true beauty is not determined by those surface standards but by a different and more purposeful set of qualities.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.”                                         Proverbs 31:30-31 NASB

“You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:4 NLT

“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NASB

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