confidence-value

Confidence and Value | Proverbs 31 Series

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” Proverbs 31:11(NIV)

Confidence and value. Those are words that we teach our girls from the time they are born. We encourage them to live with confidence, walk with their heads held high, and if they make a mistake, they are to do it confidently so everyone around them will think they meant to do it.

We walk behind our girls with an imaginary megaphone, cheering for them and remind them that they have value. We boost their spirits by constantly stressing that they deserve nothing less than the best because they are worth it.

Those are both important lessons for us and our daughters to hear and remember. Yet, those qualities also need to describe how others feel about us and our girls.

One of the Dictionary.com definitions of confidence is full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.

confidence-value

 

Total and complete trust

No matter which box you check off under “marital status,” this applies to you.

If you check any category of single, how do others perceive you? If you are married and/or have children, then find out how your husband and children view you. Regardless of where you fall, having the confidence of others is a quality we should all be striving for.

Here are some questions to help you determine your trustworthiness.

Are you a woman others can count on?

Do your friends know if they shared something with you, it will stay with you?

Does your boss know you will complete your tasks in a timely manner and to the best of your ability?

Do people who depend on you for volunteer positions know you will show up and serve when you are scheduled to?

For married women in general, can your husband trust you to be faithful to him?

Can he trust that you will complete your designated responsibilities?

For stay-at-home-moms, does your husband have total and complete trust in you while he is out at work all day?

The list could go on, but you get the idea. We want to be women that others have confidence in.

confidence-value

“…and lacks nothing of value.”

Value comes in many forms, but we’re only going to touch on two- money and time.

So many times we equate value with monetary issues. It’s easy to. We see how much value something has by checking the price tag. And you’ve heard the phrase, “time is money.” It’s one of the catch phrases of the business world. But how does this apply to us in the here and now?

Money

Do we use our financial resources wisely?

Do we budget our expenses so we are not left wondering where our money has flown off to?

For stay-at-home-moms, do we appreciate not only the paycheck, but the man who earns and brings it home?

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Time

We have each been allotted 24 hours per day. That equates to 1,440 minutes per day, or 86,400 seconds. In one year, that equals 525,600 minutes! But how we spend our time will determine the true value of our time.

Do we spend enough time with those we love?

Do we really give them our attention and focus when we are with them?

Do we allow ourselves to get distracted by the urgent and waste time that could have been spent on the important?

This week, as we memorize Proverbs 31:11, ask God to show you the areas you can improve your trustworthiness and the value you place on time and money.

You can find other posts in this series here.

confidence-value

worth-more-than-rubies

Worth More than Rubies | Proverbs 31 Series

My mother’s favorite passage of scripture when it came to teaching my sister and me about being women of God was Proverbs 31:10-31.  I am always amazed at how we can read the same passages of scripture in different seasons throughout our lives and have it speak to us in various ways as we pass from one stage to another.

At one time in our lives, these verses were just preparation verses for the kind of women and wives we were to be. We were able to put some of the verses into practice that dealt with our character and relationships with society in general, but the verses that dealt with husbands and children needed to be waited on until God brought us into that time.

The verse I have been reflecting on for the last week has been Proverbs 31:10, “An excellent wife who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” (NIV) I love the King James Version of this verse, “Who can find a virtuous woman? because her worth is far above rubies.” Rubies are a beautiful, rare gem, making them extremely valuable.

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How can we as women be rubies?

My Mom used to say, “You can walk outside and find rocks and pebbles anywhere, but you can’t just walk outside and find a ruby.” A ruby must be searched for and does not come cheaply.

For unmarried women, this speaks to character. Are you the kind of woman that is a carbon copy of the others around you, or are you someone that sees yourself as being valuable to God and therefore to others as well? Do you conduct yourself with dignity and modesty? In other words, are you living in a way that will not leave you with regret tomorrow or even later in life?

For married women, the question becomes, how can I be an excellent wife? What changes do I need to make to achieve excellence? I am forever working on the last two questions.

If we are ever to grow spiritually, or just in general, we need to constantly ask ourselves those questions. If we don’t, we will stay in a state of status quo and become stagnant as a woman or wife. If we ever believe that we have achieved excellence, we will come across as being prideful and arrogant.

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I know I will never achieve perfection, but I can strive for excellence in everything I do:

  • laundry… and it keeps coming.
  • housekeeping… do you ever feel like you are putting beads on a string without a knot on the end?
  • childrearing… so rewarding, but so demanding if you are choosing to be a proactive parent.
  • cooking… no burned meals.
  • gardening… sigh… that’s just not my thing, but I can keep the Lantana cut back and the bushes looking neat and in order.
  • grocery shopping… keep those coupons coming!

How will you strive for excellence in the place God has put you for now?

Years ago, I heard a lesson which discussed how everything we do can be an act of worship to God. The teacher brought up all of the mundane, everyday chores and responsibilities we as adults, spouses, and/or parents have- mowing the lawn, cooking dinner, washing the laundry, going to work- and how our view of them needs to change.

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We need to see these everyday tasks as an act of reverent worship to God. 

When we look at our homes and the things we do for the people inside them as an act of worship to the Lord, our attitude and outlook changes. We are no longer doing these things because we have to. We begin doing them as a way to honor the Lord.

When we change the focus of Who we are working for, it will automatically change our attitudes towards our homes, husbands, and children to one of worship and excellence.

Excellence in caring for the homes that God has provided for us.

Excellence in caring for the husband He has blessed us with.

Excellence in raising and caring for the children He has entrusted to us.

Dear woman, as you think about this verse today and throughout the week, I would encourage you to think of yourself as a ruby, a treasure, a woman of great value and allow that to be reflected in everything you put your hands to do.

During this series, I am going to challenge you to memorize the entire section of Proverbs 31:10-31. We will only memorize one verse per week, making this challenge doable for us. It will also give us something to meditate on as we ask God to refocus our hearts to become the woman He wants us to be.

This week, memorize Proverbs 31:10.

proverbs-31

God Moved Our Mountain

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“For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.” (Mark 11:23 KJV) 

Life can be filled with mountains- challenges or obstacles that stand in the way of our dreams or success. While some seem more like hills and a bit easier to conquer, there are others that just don’t seem as simple to plow through. 

Whatever the size of our mountains, though, I find that it’s often much easier for many of us to talk “about” the mountains in our lives as opposed to talking “to” them as the verse above states.

“It’s so hard to lose weight”, we tell ourselves. 

“I don’t know if I’ll get the job. So many people have applied, and I’m sure there are plenty more qualified than me.” 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of debt. I’m having a struggle just paying my bills, and these days we’re living paycheck to paycheck.”

Yes, my friends, you know the mountains. You’ve perhaps climbed a few yourself… And some just don’t seem like they’ll ever go away… 

But what if the words in the above Bible verse were actually true? Could it be possible to see those mountains move by God’s power working through our faith and the words we speak? 

Well, one did for me…

When my husband and I first got married, we decided to start our lives together in an apartment complex beside a beautiful master community. While living in the apartments, together we’d enjoy bike rides into the neighboring community, where we not only had access to a beautiful nature trail but also were able to use the community’s clubhouse amenities for a small yearly fee. Nature-purposeful-moms-image

Over time, my husband and I began to look at buying a home and found a beautiful one right in there. At the time it was on the market as a short sale. When visiting this home for the first time, I felt a strong sense of peace that I hadn’t felt before during our house hunting experience. And it was amazing to see that both my husband and I actually had a unified agreement on this home. 

However, shortly after fixing our eyes on this home, it was taken off the market… as it began to go through the foreclosure process.

I still had my heart set on it and remember one day returning with a good friend and asking her to pray with me over it. Together we touched the door and agreed in prayer that it would come back on the market and be priced. 

After a few months of waiting, it did come back on the market, and we were thrilled. (Hey, and it even came with a jacuzzi! Can’t beat that, right?) So, very soon after, we put in our first offer. 

Yeah….And the bank rejected it.

Hm… Not enough? So, we gave another offer…

And…. Another rejection by the bank.

Not willing to give up, we put a third offer on the home…

And… (Cue the crickets!)

We heard nothing back.

So, we assumed our third offer was also rejected and finally gave up on it, having our first two offers rejected by the bank and our third offer never getting a response.

Still in the market for a home, we ended up house hunting some more.  And, finally, after not being able to find anymore homes in our ideal community within our price range, we made an offer on a home in a different community. It was a nice home and nice community but just not the home we originally wanted… Honestly, even though it was a beautiful place, we felt like we were getting our second pick (of community) and not our first. 

It’s so amazing, though, how although at times it seems as if a dream has died, God has the power to resurrect it…

Hope-restored-purposeful-momsIn fact, it’s funny as I remembered (after the fact) that God had given me a special personal word regarding our house hunting experience, and it was this… “For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.” (Hebrews 10:36)

Little did I realize how very relevant this word would be to our situation…

…Because on the morning our offer/paperwork was to be submitted to the owners and as I got ready for work, I began to be reminded of the first home that we loved and that I had felt such a solid peace about. (It was basically out of the picture, though, from our past experiences with the bank and now with us in the current process of putting an offer on another home.)

But as I was getting ready in my bathroom… Something I’d never really done much of before happened. I began speaking directly to my mountain! 

REALLY. 

(Okay, it may sound crazy to you. And if you were a fly on the wall you might have thought it was a bit strange. But it was as if God allowed faith to rise up in me in that moment, and I started confessing out loud in my bathroom {of all places} that the house we really wanted at first would open up and the bank would accept our offer…TODAY!)

Whoa, girl… That’s a big step of faith. How do you know it’s all going to happen? Believe me, that boldness in faith and that word had to come from God because I don’t know if I really realized at the time what was actually going to transpire that very same DAY… 

So, I headed out to work to decorate and prepare my classroom before the beginning of the school year, and a little later I got a call…

It was my husband who told me that a line in the paperwork from our current offer was missing one of our signatures, so it couldn’t be submitted yet. (The fact is… Once an offer is submitted, you can’t put an offer on another home. So this was crucial to what would happen next.) 

Then, a little while later Jim called me again. This time, he told me that our realtor (who was not the main listing agent for the foreclosure house) just learned that the bank had dropped the price on the house we really wanted. They had never seen our third offer (possibly due to the main listing agent wanting the full commission on the house), and now our third offer (which the bank had never seen) was $1,000 less than our third offer.

So… Yeah…..!!!!! Needless to say, we got our dream house!

GOD HAD MOVED OUR MOUNTAIN!!!

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Yes, banks have power to say “Yes” or “No”. People have choices to agree or not agree, but something I’ve learned is that when God is in the middle of something, and He wants something good to happen…Nothing can stand in His way.

I will always remember the day God prompted me to speak to my mountain, and the amazing events that happened that day. For me, this story will always remain a encouraging testimony to share with others regarding the mountains they face… Because it’s not just me sharing a positive “reminder”, it’s actually an event that took place in my own life where I saw God at work. 

If you have any mountains in your life, no matter what they are, just know that God is much bigger than them. Take them to God in prayer… and then get ready to start speaking to them about how BIG GOD is….because even though mountains are big, they can still be moved by God’s power.

legacy

The Original Purposeful Mom and Her Legacy

We as mothers hope to one day leave a legacy.

It drives us to do what we do, day in and day out. It’s why we make the choices we make on a daily basis. It’s why we get up every morning to face the challenges of the day again. Because one day our children will grow and become men and women who will either carry on our legacy- the core values we have spent our lives instilling in them in every way we could- or choose a path of their own.

Purposeful Moms would not even be here if not for a woman that God entrusted us to many years ago.

Let me introduce you to the original Purposeful Mom and the legacy she left behind.

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Her name was Ana. And she was gorgeous.

That’s not just my biased opinion either. As a teenager, she was super thin, had long, straight, bottle-blonde hair, and big brown eyes with lashes that went on forever. One day, as she was walking home, a gentlemen with a business card approached her. He told her that he was a modeling agent and his models would be featured on television that evening. He gave her the time, channel, and business card and went on his way. Ana went home that evening and turned on the TV. As she watched, she felt in her heart that she had a turning point choice to make. She could either choose to serve God with her life or choose to live a worldly lifestyle. That night she dedicated her life fully to Christ.

Her legacy taught me to always choose Christ and service to him.

Mom kept her make up very simple. Her beauty made cosmetics pretty unnecessary. But she always wore mascara. The mascara made her long lashes (which our children have inherited) more defined, and caused her beautiful brown eyes to stand out (Faye inherited her eyes). One evening as she was worshipping in church, she felt the desire to weep before the Lord, but she was afraid to because the tears would cause her mascara to stream down her face.  That night she vowed before God that she would never wear mascara again because she didn’t want to allow anything to stand between her and the worship of her God.

Her legacy taught me to care more about my relationship with God than how I look to others as I worship him.

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When she began dating my father, she chose to hold herself to God’s standard of conduct rather than society’s standard. Her purity of conduct not only carried her through her dating years but kept her faithful to her marriage vows.

Her legacy taught me to put Christ at the center of my dating relationship and marriage.

Before she married my father she prayed. She told God that she only wanted to marry my father if that marriage would be blessed by Him. As she prepared herself for her wedding day, she saw a tract in the bridal room of the church. The words on the tract said, “I will bless your marriage.”

Her legacy taught me to take my marriage to God before and after my wedding day.

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As a young couple trying to make ends meet, my parents had a strict budget to live on. They only had so much to spend on groceries per week. But one day, their church was having a get together and asked them to provide the milk and coffee for the evening. My parents knew that by doing this, they would not have enough to buy meat for themselves for the week. But they bought the milk and coffee anyway. The night of the event, the weather turned bad and the event was canceled. Someone from the church called my parents and told them that the meat that had been purchased by the church would go bad before the event could be rescheduled. They were asked if they would like to stop by and pick up some of the meat to take home for themselves.

Her legacy taught me that by giving to the Lord, He would always provide for my needs.

My father played in a band in his younger days. One night, as he my mother and his younger sister were walking back to the car, a man attempted to mug him. The man told the gals to stay quiet and no one would get hurt. My mother pointed her Bible at him and began shouting, “I rebuke you in Jesus name!” The man lowered his knife, took $5 out of my dad’s pocket, and took off running.

Her legacy taught me to call on the name of the Lord in times of trouble.

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My mother prayed for us before we were born, after we were born, when we were sick, for our future husbands, and for our well being.

Her legacy taught me to take my children before the Lord at all times for everything.

Mom taught us God’s Word on a daily basis. Until the day before my wedding, she would sit with me at the breakfast table and teach me a lesson straight from God’s Word.

Her legacy taught me that teaching my children God’s Word was my responsibility, not the church’s.

Today makes nine years since my mother passed away, yet her legacy lives on. It lives on in her daughters.

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As a Purposeful Mom, I pray that one day I leave a legacy for my children.

A godly legacy.

A legacy that will lead them to the throne of God on a daily basis.

That is a true legacy.

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faith

Faith the Size of a Tie

I was 26. And single.

All of the people in my circle were in a relationship, engaged, or married with children on the way.

And then there was me.

The oldest in our Sunday school class.

Single.

I would go home from church, saddened because, as wonderful as my family was, I felt that empty feeling that comes when you know you are missing your other half, but you don’t even know who that other half is. I didn’t have that special someone that was made just for me.

Then one day as I was shopping at Bealls (a Florida only franchise), I happened to walk past the men’s ties.

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And that is when God put a thought in my heart.

Buy one.

I questioned the thought.

“For who?”

And I felt God tell my heart, Buy one, have it gift wrapped at the back counter, and put it in your closet until the right time.

As far as I knew, there was no one that I currently knew who the tie could possibly be for (I did know this guy named Brian… my friend… the one I practiced talking to guys with since I knew nothing about talking to guys… but I never imagined the tie would be for him…).

But I obeyed.

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I had faith the size of a tie that one day there would be a man made just for me who would wear that tie.

I had faith the size of a tie that God had not forgotten about me. Faith that He was ready with pen in hand to write my love story.

I had faith the size of a tie that my turn would come, and I would have my very own love story to tell.

When we feel that we have been forgotten…

When we are saddened that we are the only ones in our circle who have not reached a particular milestone…

When we see those around us enjoying the gifts we are so fervently praying for…

We need to have faith.

We only have to have faith the size of a mustard seed.

faith

It doesn’t have to be big faith. A mustard seed is small. A mustard seed is 2-3 millimeters in diameter, but Jesus tells us that faith the size of a mustard seed can move a mountain (Matthew 17:20).

The contrast in size is so great. A tiny seed. A giant mountain. Yet God does not require the size of our faith to match the challenge. Sometimes our faith is only the size of a mustard seed. But as we see God move each mountain we encounter, the size of our faith grows.

What are you needing faith for?

Faith that one day God will bring the right man into your life.

Faith that one day your arms will hold the baby your heart has dreamed of.

Faith that one day your entire family will worship together- at home and in God’s house.

Faith that one day you will turn the key and open the front door to a home you can call your own.

Your faith may be the size of onesie, a hymnal, or a set of brand new kitchen towels.

In my case, faith was the size of a tie.

A maroon and gold colored tie that I pulled down from the top shelf in my closet one beautiful day in October of 2003- the day after Brian asked my parents for my hand.

What size is your faith?

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invest your marriage

Investing in Your Marriage Without Spending a Fortune

You know how it goes.

Wedding day comes and you are ready to spend your life with this man who didn’t just steal your heart- you gave it to him willingly. You dream of the impromptu dates that will occur- a late night run to Starbucks to get coffee because really who needs to sleep! In your mind’s eye, you imagine talking deep into the night and waking up fully refreshed the next morning.

You plan weekly date nights. Since you are both working, you think nothing of the cost of going out for a sit down dinner weekly. You’re in love and nothing else matters.

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Then one afternoon a few years into marriage, you wait for your sweet husband to come home from work so you can give him the news you were both hoping for. You’re pregnant!

Once the baby comes, you determine to not give up on your date nights because connecting with each other is important…. but you can’t go out weekly because the budget won’t allow it. Your income may have been cut in half and now there is one more person pulling from it.

So what do you do?

Committing to our marriages is so important. Marriage takes work and time.

Is it possible to getaway from it all without breaking the bank?

When you add up the cost of babysitters, dinner, a movie, maybe a coffee and dessert, it can put a real dent in the budget and your attitude about date night.

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Or you can get creative!

My sister, brother-in-law, husband and I have figured out an arrangement that works for us.

Every other month we get a weekend.

This past weekend was Brian and my weekend. Faye and Jim had our kids from Friday thru Sunday, and Brian and I had the weekend all to ourselves. Next month, we will watch my nephew, and Faye and Jim will have their weekend.

This is the time we can go out to a leisurely dinner together. We can leave our county and head into the “city” for more options. Because the kids are with Faye for the weekend, we don’t have to rush back to relieve the babysitter.

Babysitter= Free

One of the things we enjoy doing on our weekend is seeing a movie. Theaters are always an option, but we have found a way to keep those costs down, too. Have you checked your debit card points? Our debit card had been earning us points that we didn’t know about. When I stumbled onto this, I discovered that we could purchase movie tickets with our points.

We also keep track of which movies are being put on Amazon or into our local Redbox kiosk. My husband gets coupon codes sent to his email (for Redbox), so we are able to rent a movie and enjoy it from the comfort of our own couch and our kitchen is our concession stand.

invest your marriage

Movies= Free or cheap

One of our favorite things about our weekends is the rest factor.

Because the kids are being cared for elsewhere, I can sleep deeply, not having one ear and eye open (moms can relate). No one wakes us up early. We sleep in, and we are fully rested when our children return to us.

Nightly accommodations= Free

We are homebodies. Although we enjoy an adventure, rest and relaxation means staying home in our pjs and chilling. We eat what is in the fridge, freezer and pantry. Going out to eat for at least one meal on our weekend is part of the fun. Sometimes we have gift cards which help keep costs down significantly, other times we don’t.

Food= almost Free

On Sunday, whoever is watching the children returns them. The one receiving the children prepares dinner for all to share. We sit at the table, share our weekend adventures, listen to the kids retell the fun they had, and feel full in our hearts from a hearty weekend investing our marriage.

Investment in our marriage = Priceless

invest your marriage

We look forward to this time every other month. It is refreshing for us as a couple and as parents. The time it gives us to pour into each other and ourselves personally is so necessary but so often neglected. We are able to pursue our hobbies without feeling mommy or daddy guilt. “Mom and Dad” talks to decide the direction we want to go with the training of our children, to figure out what has worked and what needs to be adjusted, and to encourage each other on parenting successes are possible without interruption. We are able to establish short term personal, marital, parental, and financial goals since we can reevaluate every other month.

As a couple, find what works for you and is safe for your children. Investing time into our marriages and being responsible parents are crucial for our families.

There are ways to invest in your marriage without spending a fortune. Sometimes, you just have to be creative.

invest marriage

Comparison: A Recipe for Unrest

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There are days when I feel so joyful and proud of the job I’ve been doing, with God’s help, as a mom….

And then there are days when I stumble across an impressive video on social media of young elementary school aged prodigies playing violins and woodwind instruments like miniature professional musicians and begin second guessing myself on how well I’m doing compared to these children’s moms.

Oh… Days before this, I was so proud of the fact that I had taken my son for a fun time of play at a local bounce house, that we had enjoyed a great time together on the playground, that he had helped me make muffins one afternoon, and that he had even helped me make a veggie-fruit “juice” one morning…

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But now….?

No.

Instead of celebrating all we have been able to do together, I begin doubting myself and the job I’m doing as a mom…

And all this because I set my eyes on someone else’s level of parenting.

So now in this moment I allow myself to believe that who I am and what I’ve been doing as a mom just simply isn’t “good enough” compared to these other parents…

(Okay…So, my little guy’s only two and a half, but still…. You know where I’m coming from.)

Whether it’s things like these that drive you to comparison or not, I’m almost 100% sure there are things in your life that have a way of pushing your own comparison buttons as well.

And it can happen across so many spectrums… Not just in mothering.

For example… Have you ever found yourself so joyful in one moment- content with your possessions, your home, and your way of life….

And then your joy suddenly comes to an abrupt halt after visiting the newest community of model homes?

You return to your own home later that afternoon wondering, “How long were we planning on living in this house, again?”

Oh, if only things were bigger…more elaborate, more spacious, and new… Right?  (Hmmm….)

home

Joy goes out the window along with contentment as we allow comparison and discontent to set in.

On another specturm, perhaps you’re a working mom. You feel proud of all you’ve accomplished and are doing to help your family make ends meet. God gave you a great job, and things are going well. You’re able to contribute to the family’s needs and help put food on the table.

But… Any time you scroll through social media and see your stay-at-home mommy friend, you find yourself comparing yourself to her, feeling as though your life should in some way mirror hers. “Maybe I’m not doing that good of a job as a mom…compared to her,” you think to yourself.

Oh, how comparison beats us down.

Or put the shoe on the other foot. Perhaps you’re the stay-at-home mom, viewing the working mom and her family. You see all that she’s accomplished outside of the home, all her family can afford, and all of the places they can go because both parents are working.

So you also begin to doubt yourself, wondering whether you’re doing a “good enough” job staying home with your children and daily managing the chores in your home. Am I as successful as  her?

comparison

Yes, you often feel fulfilled in your role as a stay-at-home mom, but  every so often when you catch a glimpse of the grass “on the other side”, comparing what she’s accomplished in the workplace  or what she is able to afford compared to you and your family, those “happy and contented feelings” begin to evade you.

Comparison will always leave you feeling “down” and “discontent” or “less than”.

I could go on and on…

Moms of public school children doubting themselves as they compare themselves to homeschooling moms…

Moms who wish to lose a few pounds comparing themselves to women who are more fit…

The opportunities for comparison are endless…

And yet, this was never the kind of life God intended for us to have as moms- always looking at some other woman as the standard and either seeing how little we measured up or defending ourselves to prove we were “enough” or “better” in some way compared to “her”.

No, my Friends. Comparison is the enemy of contentment, peace, and rest.

And if you want to know the truth… God wants you to stop comparing yourself to others.

A great Bible verse that reminds us of this fact is 2 Corinthians 10:12 which states, “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”

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Comparison is a losing battle.

It will either cause you to lose heart or feel “beneath” someone else, or it will cause you to feel prideful and “better” than someone else.

Comparison does not in any way foster comradery but competition. (And unless you are looking to win a legitimate prize, it would be best to avoid it at all costs.)

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe it is important to learn from those we admire and desire to emulate. I’m not suggesting we plateau and fail to make efforts for improvement or positive change. We most certainly should work towards goals in our lives that will help us, our children, and our families find success.

However, the important thing to remember is that comparison should never be the driving force.

Instead, when desiring success and positive change, we should be willing to ask God for the wisdom and help to accomplish and be everything He intended and planned for us to do and be in this life. 

What if my son was never intended to be a professional instrumentalist like the children in the video? What if he was meant to be a professional tennis player? A coach? A businessman? Or a pastor?

If my eyes are on someone else’s parenting, I may end up steering my son in the wrong direction.

But if my eyes are on the One who created me, my husband, and my son…

The One who has the best in store for us and who knows the best ways to help us reach the goals He has in store for us…

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Then I can rest in the assurance that He will give us the wisdom and direction we need in life…and as parents. And I wil also be able to live in confidence knowing He will direct us to those instrumental individuals that can come along side to offer the wise counsel and advice that will help us in our journey.

This is the kind of life, I’d rather live…

My eyes confidently looking to the  One who holds my future rather than comparing myself to others who are also learning and still growing in their journey through this life as well.

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The Lesson from the Termite’s Nest

Song of Solomon 2:15- Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.

A few years ago, my husband and I went on a cruise. One of our stops was Playa de Carmen, Mexico.

As we walked for what seemed like forever to the bus that would take us to the Mayan Ruins of Tulum, Brian and I noticed that all of the trees were painted white from the ground to part of the way up the trunk.

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At first I didn’t think anything of it, but as we drove through the city, we noticed that EVERY tree had been whitewashed. I just chalked it up to “that’s just how they do it here” and didn’t think anything else of it.

Until……

We finally reached our destination a little more than an hour later. As were walking the mile and a half from where our bus dropped us off to the entrance of the ruins, Tour Guide Juan stopped us and had us look over into the trees.

He continued, “Did you notice that all of the trees in Playa de Carmen were whitewashed from the ground to halfway up the trunk? There is a reason for that. You all know termites eat wood, but something happens to their bodies when we take a mixture of limestone and water and paint our trees. As the termites begin climbing up a whitewashed tree, the temperature of their bodies rises and they burn up. If we didn’t whitewash our trees in Playa de Carmen, you would see termite mounds like this one everywhere.”

We went on into the ruins and I forgot all about the termites, whitewashed trees, and the vendors we would have to push through a second time as we made our way back to our bus.

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As we were leaving the ruins, I saw this termite nest (pictured above) and something hit me. With all of the green around, the tree hosting this nest had no healthy foliage on it. The tree itself could not grow while something was sucking the life out of it. It could only die.

Our homes, families, and lives are living things. Satan wants to destroy those things. If he came with a hack saw, motorized saw, or ax, we would recognize him immediately and protect those things that are so precious to us.

Instead he comes into our lives as a termite- something so tiny that we would not even notice it or recognize the harm it could do (overly busy schedule, television, Internet, food, harmful relationships, etc.). He comes as a termite that doesn’t mind how long it will take to suck the life out of us. He comes in the form of a thousand little things that slowly drain our will, desire, and ability to fight back. Before you know it, there is no life left in you.

We need a whitewash!

We need to take preventative measures before those little termites even have a chance to climb into our lives.

We need to set time alone for ourselves with the Lord and His Word.
We need to set boundaries.
We need to learn to say “no” to things that take our time away from what is important.
We need to invest time in our marriages and children.
We need to let go of the desire to have more and be content with what we already have.
We need to be willing to let go of some of our material possessions that bog us down.

It is possible to remove the termites once they have made a nest, but it is hard work and, in some cases, can be costly. As the old saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

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That day, Brian and I made some wonderful memories at the Mayan ruins, saw some amazing structures that have lasted a thousand years, saw the bluest water on the coast of Tulum, and took some amazing photos.

But I think the one thing that will never leave my heart from that day was the lesson I learned while looking at a termite’s nest.

I pray I never forget what it looks like. I want it to be a constant reminder to me that I need to keep my “tree” whitewashed.

This post was originally featured on my previous blog The Joy of Homemaking.

If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy – Guest Post

(Affiliate links may be used in this post. You can view our full disclosure here.)

Today, I am guest posting on StrongandCourageousWomen.com. It is such a blessing for PurposefulMoms to be a part of the Strong and Courageous team of writers, as we are given opportunities to share what God has placed in our hearts regarding motherhood via the online blog as well as in the upcoming holiday issue of the Strong and Courageous Women’s magazine! Please be sure to check out today’s post below by clicking on the title!

“If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy”

And remember to “Like” Strong and Courageous Women on Facebook to stay current with encouraging and upifting messages in your feed from the magazine’s President, Francis Fernandez, and a variety of amazing female writers!

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When Words Hurt Rather Than Heal

 Affiliate links may be used in this post. You can view our full disclosure here.

“I just say what I think, and if people don’t like it…. oh, well!”

Have you ever heard that phrase before? I have, and when I hear it it makes me cringe inside.

On the flip side there are people who say what they think and don’t even realize their words are piercing the soul of the hearer.

We spend so much of our time behind a screen- computer, phone, television- that we sometimes forget a real-life, living, breathing person is on the receiving end of our words. We have lost the art of tact and the mindset of consideration for the feelings of others, and we rush headlong into airing our thoughts and unrefined feelings for the world to hear and read.

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Words can be beautiful, though.

Have you read the Declaration of Independence,  Little Women, the Chronicles of Narnia,  the poems of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, or John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress? The beauty of these words have lasted a few hundred years and will continue to be passed down to following generations.

However, the words that we see through social media and hear in conversations, radio, and television have eroded over time and are not always fit for young eyes and ears. Rather than using the countless beautiful words that God has put into our vocabulary and that Daniel Webster put into his extensive dictionary, our culture has chosen a limited number of  words and uses them to express every emotion known to man.

The saying “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me” is not as true as we want it to be.

Yes, sticks and stones hurt us physically, but words hurt our soul.

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Words can eat away at the very fiber of our being.

Words can cause our stomachs to knot and twist.

Words can make us feel sick inside of our bones.

Words said in the heat of the moment can divide.

Words said in haste can cause irreparable damage.

Words thoughtlessly spoken can sever longtime relationships.

As always, God has something to say about the words that we use.

Ephesians 4:29- Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

Words can heal when they are seasoned with grace (Colossians 4:6).

Words can be as beautiful as a plate of golden apples in a setting of silver (Proverbs 25:11).

Words can correct behavior when spoken in love (Ephesians 4:15)

Words can unite when spoken quietly and not shouted over others (Proverbs 15:1).

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Maybe it’s because my love language is words of affirmation that I am more in tune to the pain and joy words can bring. When I hear words directed at my children with a tone that speaks down to them rather than lifting them up, my heart hurts. When I view social media and see people shouting at each other from both sides of the aisle trying to be heard but not making any headway because their words are cutting and abrasive, I want to throw my hands up, slap the lid down on my laptop, and walk away in frustration. When I hear politicians use their words to manipulate, my faith in our governmental systems is shattered.

But when I open up my Bible and read the Words that God has inspired, my soul is renewed again.

As a Purposeful Woman,  we can choose to be intentional with our words online, with our acquaintances, friends, coworkers, but most importantly our families. We can ask God for wisdom in finding the right words that will unite rather than creating chasms.

As a Purposeful Wife, we can choose to let our words bring life to our husband’s tired heart after a long day of work. Ask God to allow your words to be a soothing balm for his tired and weary soul.

As a Purposeful Mom, we can choose to use words that build our children up and solidify the value we place on them. Beyond our four wall there will be words a plenty vying for the opportunity to whittle our children’s souls down. Our words need to reinforce to them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made.

There are people all around us who are in need of healing. Our nation is in need of healing. May God use the words we speak (and post) to bring healing to the hurting.

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