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Rise and Shine!

“She rises also while it is still night, and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.” Proverbs 31:15

Do you ever wish you had a bit of a head start to your day?

There have been mornings when I have woken up and opened my eyes to a little person standing at eye level to me with a huge smile on his face. And when his mouth starts to move, the words that come out are not, “I love you,” as one would hope, but instead the words are, “What’s for breakfast?”

It’s moments like that which make me wish I had woken up early.

For the woman of the home, whether you are a single, wife, or mom, it’s important to wake up with plenty of time to give you a margin of breathing room before it’s “go time” or to get the basics done before the rest of the house starts moving.

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When does your home start stirring?

Figuring out when your family begins to stir will give you an indication of when you need to wake up to give yourself a head start. For example, my son is the earliest riser in our home, so I take his wake up time and wake up an hour before he does to give me the time I need in the mornings.

If you don’t have kids, base your wake time on how long it takes you do everything in the mornings that you have to get done: exercise, pack lunch, maybe clean one room so you don’t have to when you get home from work, dress, and do your hair.

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What can you get done in the morning?

I love how Proverbs 31:15 says “and gives food to her household and a portion to her maidens.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have “help” if the form of a maid or outside help that comes in to relieve me of any of my duties, and you probably don’t either.  We do, however, have other “maids.”

I love looking at my washing machine, dish washer, and coffee maker as my “maids” and putting them to work. Change your view of what “help” looks like in our modern world and find ways to put them to work during the early morning hours.

Mornings are a great time for:

  • Devotions
  • Putting the coffee on
  • Getting a load of laundry started
  • Folding a load of laundry
  • Cleaning one room in the house
  • Preparing dinner (taking food out of the freezer to thaw or put it together for quick preparation later in the day)
  • Getting in a cup of coffee with some early morning reading
  • Completing your morning routine without interruption

By getting some time alone in the quiet of the morning, we are able to get in some much needed alone time which will help us mentally prepare for the day ahead and possibly help us get some of our responsibilities out of the way.

Memorize Proverbs 31:15

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May the Sales Be Ever In Your Favor | Proverbs 31 Series

“She is like the merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.” Proverbs 31:14

Shopping can be fun! But sometimes (especially during the Christmas season), it can feel like you are participating in some warped version of the Hunger Games. How many of us have gone out on Black Friday and prayed that we would be the one brave warrior to make it home alive?

Shopping doesn’t always need to feel like we are entering the arena, especially now that we have officially entered into the holiday, gift-giving season. Not only are we trying to survive the crowds, but we are also trying to get the best price on our merchandise. Make it home alive and lose as few of our resources as possible? Is that realistic?

There are ways to survive the crowd and find the best prices and deals to maximize our dollar, but sometimes it means being willing to drive to that out of the way store that has the best prices even if it’s not an all-in-one-stop shop.

What does this look like in real life?

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Grocery shopping

One of the most important methods to saving money on groceries is meal planning.

Meal planning, simply stated, is the process of planning your family’s meals so you aren’t left wondering at 5:30 p.m. what you are feeding your family for dinner that night.

It begins by looking through your pantry, fridge, and freezer to see what you already have on hand. Once you have decided which meals you can start with the supplies you already have, make your list based on what you still need. Fill in with breakfast and lunch staples and few snacks (or better yet, try making your own), and you will be surprised at how little you spend… if you stick to your list.

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Christmas

Black Friday is know for its great sales, but many times items end up in the shopping cart just because they are on sale, not because they are things that would have purchased anyway. Instead, start early in the year, and take note of what your family members are actually interested in. Then as you begin to notice items go on sale, you can pick them up.

In our home, we ask the kids to write down or tell us items in four categories:

  • something they want
  • something they need
  • something to wear
  • something to read

They can write down or name as many items as they want under each category. They know they will not receive every item on their list, but at least we have a better understanding of their interests and expectations for Christmas. It also gives us a head start on looking for gifts they actually want instead of spending money on items just so the base of the Christmas tree looks full on Christmas morning.

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Clothing

In style clothing is something that all women want, but who says you have to pay full price for them? Early on, my mother taught me to shop the clearance racks before checking out the retail priced racks. Shopping clearance racks for children is also a great idea. Rather than purchasing clothes in their current sizes, purchase clothes in the next size or two up. You will save a significant amount on clothes if you aren’t having to purchase them at full price.

Couponing websites and apps

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Another way to save, which takes a little extra effort on our part but is completely worth it, is to use coupon apps. Not all stores participate in these apps, but the ones that do help us save significant amounts of money. Ibotta is my go to app. Just for making a purchase, I can earn $0.25. If I purchase items that have rebates in the app, I can make significantly more. The money earned back can be turned into gift cards for a whole host of stores, and if you use your gift cards to purchase items with rebates on the app, you can not only earn more money back, but you can do it without spending a dime of your own money.

As we add Proverbs 31:14 to our memorization list, let’s think of ways to stretch our dollar, save on groceries, keep our Christmas expenses low, and use technology to our advantage. And may the sales be ever in your favor.

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Work with Willing Hands | Proverbs 31 Series

“She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.” Proverbs 31:13

Sometimes, it is so easy for us to get hung up on the words and miss out on the spirit of a verse. This is one of those verses for me. I used to look at this verse in such a literal sense. But when I began looking at the overall meaning of this passage, it opened up a whole new world for me.

If we think back to the time period this verse was written in, we would see a society based in shepherding and farming. Wool, which was produced by the sheep being raised, and flax, which was a byproduct of the plants being grown and could be turned into linen, were materials easily available to women. They could seek out these materials and turn them into usable goods to benefit their families.

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We may not have access to the same raw materials these woman had access to, but we have access to so much more.

We have computers that give us access to so many online jobs and outlets for us to use the talents God has given us.

Some of us have a musical instrument and the training in order to be able to teach that instrument from home, allowing us the ability to earn some extra money or providing a livable  income for ourselves.

Some women have an amazing talent to use their hands to create beautiful yet functional items based on a need they themselves have experienced.

As I began preparing this post, one young woman came to mind immediately.

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Her name is Stephanie and she owns the Easy shop Emmy and I Designs. As a former teacher with a knack for sewing, she began preparing for baby by making beautiful clutches to be used in diaper bags or on their own, depending on her need for them. She also designed and created beautiful bibs, burp cloths, and simple dresses for her soon to come little girl. As she told me, her shop has been an unexpected blessing and has allowed her to stay home with her beautiful girl. Stephanie is a great example  of someone who has taken raw materials, worked with willing hands, and turned a hobby into a blessing for her family.

We live in an amazing day and age. As women, there are so many ways to use our talents and abilities, not only as a financial blessing to our family, but simply to bless them.

I remember the Christmas when I was seven, my mother made me a life-sized doll and sewed a dress for me to match my doll’s dress. It was one of the best, most remembered presents I ever received from my mother.

Is there something that you are able to do with your hands that can bless your family. Do you have a hobby that you absolutely love and enjoy? Is there a way for you to take that talent and turn it into a blessing for yourself and your family? This week as we memorize Proverbs 31:13, ask God to show you how you can take your hobby and turn it into a way to bless your family.

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Till Death Do Us Part | Proverbs 31 Series

“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12

You’ve heard them, or you’ve said them yourself…

“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.”

When we say them, we truly mean each and every word, and we secretly pledge together to show the world that our love will withstand the tests of time, money, and life in general.

And then life hits.

Real life hits.

Bills come due. That part of his personality you originally fell in love with and thought was charming now irks you to no end. One of you becomes ill- physically or in another manner. You miss your freedom. Children join your family and, because of the natural order of things, add to your stress financially, physically, and emotionally. (This list does not include infidelity, which would necessitate the use of a good, professional biblical counselor and the advice of a well loved and trusted pastor. Please don’t try to tackle this issue on your own.) 

We are faced with two choices: continue to love and cherish and honor the man God has given you, or don’t.

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Bring him good

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:22     Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Ephesians 5:25

Our Creator so wisely added into Ephesians the best way for women and men to demonstrate love and respect to each other, so we could better serve each other. As women we tend to equate love with what our men are willing to do for us- that date night he went out of his way to plan, bringing home your favorite flavored coffee creamer (or that might just be me!), or sending flowers to our place of work. Men see love differently. They view love as being respected.

(Remember, my purpose here is to encourage women. Dennis Rainey at Family Life has a wonderful article titled 30 Ways to Love Your Wife.)

Respect

Another phrase we hear repeatedly is, “Respect in not given, it’s earned.”

Yet, God has a different approach to that phrase. Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

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God tells husbands to love their wives the way they love and care for themselves, and He tells wives to respect their husbands. 

What does that look like in practical terms? This is my short list.

  • Thank him for working to support your family.
  • Teach your children to appreciate him for all that he does for your family.
  • Thank him for taking you out to eat.
  • If you are both full-time workers, thank him for being on your team and for sharing the responsibilities in your home.
  • Don’t ridicule or make fun of him… especially in public.
  • Subtly praise him before others for being the best husband for you.
  • Don’t put down his hobbies or interests.
  • Don’t share his faults for laughs with others.
  • Don’t shame him on social media.

Please remember, in the case of needing professional help, you must be able to share your struggles for council sake. It is not being disrespectful in this instance.

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All the days of her life

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed,” Psalm 37:3.

Each day, a choice is required of us. Will we do good to the man God has blessed us with, or will we do what will make us feel better temporarily?

Will we get up and decide to be good to him today, or will we let our emotions (or that time of the month) determine our responses to him?

Will we think of ways to give him respect, or will we remember his infractions from yesterday and serve him with attitude today?

Giving our husbands respect, doing good to him, and doing this for the rest of our lives is a promise we made on our wedding day but must be lived out daily. Some days are easier than others, but I’m sure we can agree that living with us is not always easy on them either.

This week, as we memorize Proverbs 31:12, pull out your wedding video or album, relive the moment you made your vows, and determine to be good to him today when he gets home from work. You may be surprised at how quickly the love is returned in your direction.

You can read the rest of the posts in this series here.

 

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Confidence and Value | Proverbs 31 Series

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” Proverbs 31:11(NIV)

Confidence and value. Those are words that we teach our girls from the time they are born. We encourage them to live with confidence, walk with their heads held high, and if they make a mistake, they are to do it confidently so everyone around them will think they meant to do it.

We walk behind our girls with an imaginary megaphone, cheering for them and remind them that they have value. We boost their spirits by constantly stressing that they deserve nothing less than the best because they are worth it.

Those are both important lessons for us and our daughters to hear and remember. Yet, those qualities also need to describe how others feel about us and our girls.

One of the Dictionary.com definitions of confidence is full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.

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Total and complete trust

No matter which box you check off under “marital status,” this applies to you.

If you check any category of single, how do others perceive you? If you are married and/or have children, then find out how your husband and children view you. Regardless of where you fall, having the confidence of others is a quality we should all be striving for.

Here are some questions to help you determine your trustworthiness.

Are you a woman others can count on?

Do your friends know if they shared something with you, it will stay with you?

Does your boss know you will complete your tasks in a timely manner and to the best of your ability?

Do people who depend on you for volunteer positions know you will show up and serve when you are scheduled to?

For married women in general, can your husband trust you to be faithful to him?

Can he trust that you will complete your designated responsibilities?

For stay-at-home-moms, does your husband have total and complete trust in you while he is out at work all day?

The list could go on, but you get the idea. We want to be women that others have confidence in.

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“…and lacks nothing of value.”

Value comes in many forms, but we’re only going to touch on two- money and time.

So many times we equate value with monetary issues. It’s easy to. We see how much value something has by checking the price tag. And you’ve heard the phrase, “time is money.” It’s one of the catch phrases of the business world. But how does this apply to us in the here and now?

Money

Do we use our financial resources wisely?

Do we budget our expenses so we are not left wondering where our money has flown off to?

For stay-at-home-moms, do we appreciate not only the paycheck, but the man who earns and brings it home?

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Time

We have each been allotted 24 hours per day. That equates to 1,440 minutes per day, or 86,400 seconds. In one year, that equals 525,600 minutes! But how we spend our time will determine the true value of our time.

Do we spend enough time with those we love?

Do we really give them our attention and focus when we are with them?

Do we allow ourselves to get distracted by the urgent and waste time that could have been spent on the important?

This week, as we memorize Proverbs 31:11, ask God to show you the areas you can improve your trustworthiness and the value you place on time and money.

You can find other posts in this series here.

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Worth More than Rubies | Proverbs 31 Series

My mother’s favorite passage of scripture when it came to teaching my sister and me about being women of God was Proverbs 31:10-31.  I am always amazed at how we can read the same passages of scripture in different seasons throughout our lives and have it speak to us in various ways as we pass from one stage to another.

At one time in our lives, these verses were just preparation verses for the kind of women and wives we were to be. We were able to put some of the verses into practice that dealt with our character and relationships with society in general, but the verses that dealt with husbands and children needed to be waited on until God brought us into that time.

The verse I have been reflecting on for the last week has been Proverbs 31:10, “An excellent wife who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” (NIV) I love the King James Version of this verse, “Who can find a virtuous woman? because her worth is far above rubies.” Rubies are a beautiful, rare gem, making them extremely valuable.

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How can we as women be rubies?

My Mom used to say, “You can walk outside and find rocks and pebbles anywhere, but you can’t just walk outside and find a ruby.” A ruby must be searched for and does not come cheaply.

For unmarried women, this speaks to character. Are you the kind of woman that is a carbon copy of the others around you, or are you someone that sees yourself as being valuable to God and therefore to others as well? Do you conduct yourself with dignity and modesty? In other words, are you living in a way that will not leave you with regret tomorrow or even later in life?

For married women, the question becomes, how can I be an excellent wife? What changes do I need to make to achieve excellence? I am forever working on the last two questions.

If we are ever to grow spiritually, or just in general, we need to constantly ask ourselves those questions. If we don’t, we will stay in a state of status quo and become stagnant as a woman or wife. If we ever believe that we have achieved excellence, we will come across as being prideful and arrogant.

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I know I will never achieve perfection, but I can strive for excellence in everything I do:

  • laundry… and it keeps coming.
  • housekeeping… do you ever feel like you are putting beads on a string without a knot on the end?
  • childrearing… so rewarding, but so demanding if you are choosing to be a proactive parent.
  • cooking… no burned meals.
  • gardening… sigh… that’s just not my thing, but I can keep the Lantana cut back and the bushes looking neat and in order.
  • grocery shopping… keep those coupons coming!

How will you strive for excellence in the place God has put you for now?

Years ago, I heard a lesson which discussed how everything we do can be an act of worship to God. The teacher brought up all of the mundane, everyday chores and responsibilities we as adults, spouses, and/or parents have- mowing the lawn, cooking dinner, washing the laundry, going to work- and how our view of them needs to change.

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We need to see these everyday tasks as an act of reverent worship to God. 

When we look at our homes and the things we do for the people inside them as an act of worship to the Lord, our attitude and outlook changes. We are no longer doing these things because we have to. We begin doing them as a way to honor the Lord.

When we change the focus of Who we are working for, it will automatically change our attitudes towards our homes, husbands, and children to one of worship and excellence.

Excellence in caring for the homes that God has provided for us.

Excellence in caring for the husband He has blessed us with.

Excellence in raising and caring for the children He has entrusted to us.

Dear woman, as you think about this verse today and throughout the week, I would encourage you to think of yourself as a ruby, a treasure, a woman of great value and allow that to be reflected in everything you put your hands to do.

During this series, I am going to challenge you to memorize the entire section of Proverbs 31:10-31. We will only memorize one verse per week, making this challenge doable for us. It will also give us something to meditate on as we ask God to refocus our hearts to become the woman He wants us to be.

This week, memorize Proverbs 31:10.

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Am I Beautiful?

(Affiliate links may be used in this post. You can view our full disclosure here.)

Ok, tell me I’m wrong… But do you ever feel as a woman like there’s just something more you need to be or have different in your life before you can officially say you “feel” beautiful?

Oh…. Maybe it’s your hair, your skin’s condition, your weight, your teeth, your nose…

…Achievements you want to attain…

…Your personality that you’d love to change…

Perhaps you want to be more outgoing or, on the other hand, more refined…

Regardless of what it is, though…

There’s just that one other thing you need in your life that will finally give you permission to check off that last little box on your mental “I-finally-feel-beautiful” checklist.

Oh, trust me, I have my little boxes as well.

And while I am working on those areas, and honestly believe we all should work on being the best version of ourselves we can be…

Somehow I’m absolutely convinced that checking that last little box off isn’t going to be what ultimately convinces me.

You want to know how I know…?

…Because I’ve checked off that box once before… and for some odd reason… I still didn’t feel as though it was good enough to be checked.

Furthermore…even though I checked off that last little box, another box appeared for something else making me still feel inferior.

Yes, we all should have goals in life.

We all should do the things possible to make ourselves feel outwardly beautiful. There are definitely things we can all do to improve ourselves, and we should do our best to work on them. Goals are definitely important to our overall feelings of well-being.

But one thing that saddens me is that many women simply cannot give themselves permission to feel beautiful until they’ve reached the end of their goal….

And yet at the same time, I think somewhere deep inside we all long to feel beautiful and have someone to tell us we are… before we can be “fully” convinced for ourselves.

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In some sense I think that’s one reason why “selfies” have become such a popular phenomenon these days. (…And, no, I don’t claim to be an expert in “selfie” psychology.)

But somehow as I see multiple selfies within a short period of time, something inside of me says, “Women want to know they’re beautiful. They want confirmation that what they see in the mirror really is true and visible to others.”

They simply want affirmation.

How do I know this?

Um…Because just a few years ago that  was me too.

Don’t get me wrong. I do take selfies every now and then (many of which never get seen), but I definitely have stopped posting them as frequently.

Why?

Well, for a few reasons…

For one, God helped me understand the deeper reason “why” I was needing to share my selfies so much.

He began to heal my heart of my need to “request” that affirmation from others.

And more importantly, He also began to show me that my purpose in life is not to highlight myself but Him.

Have I arrived at a place where I can officially say I don’t ever desire that affirmation from outside sources?

Well….. Unfortunately, I have not. I’m still a work in progress. But, trust me, God’s working on me….

Of course there are definitely still days when I want someone to tell me I’m beautiful because (even though I may think so at times myself) I think it’s still in us to just want that extra affirmation from the outside. Who doesn’t want to feel good about themselves and get confirmation about it, right?

But you know what…?

Even that affirmation is never enough. We all still end up needing more………..the next day, the next week, and on and on it goes.

Why is it that the compliments just don’t stick or keep us in a place where we remain fully convinced that we are?

Maybe, it’s because our definition of beauty is flawed…

If you want to know the real scoop about beauty…..

Outward beauty is temporary… Look at the godly great grandmother in her 80’s who’s lived a full life but now looks nothing like her younger self. But here she is… smiling in her hospital bed surrounded by three generations of family members. They treasure her dearly for the joy she’s been in life and will always be grateful for the godly legacy she’s leaving behind.

Beauty isn’t the mark of our value… Look at the military servicemen and women whose faces are almost unrecognizable after surviving a hit by explosives. They risk their own lives to preserve our freedom and safety….and return to short-lived recognition followed by lifelong injuries and scars.

Beauty is “vain”… A focus on beauty so often makes life all about “us”. And thank God our eyes are situated inside of our sculls rather than outside our heads because, in this day and age- if it were the other way around- I’m sure many of us would stare at ourselves all day to see how good we looked.

But most importantly… Something beauty was never meant to be… is the main focus of our lives or the measure of our success in life.

It was never meant to define us, to show us who we are as women, or to show us how much we are worth.

It was never meant to be the deciding factor as to whether we were worth being loved or not.

It was never meant for any of that.

And ultimately… Beauty fades…

But you know what… Beauty can be a really AWESOME word when redefined.

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And if it’s true that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, God’s eyes have a really awesome perspective of what true beauty really is…. And it’s not limited by our weight, the straightness of our teeth or whether we’re having a good or bad hair day… Not any of that.

According to God, true beauty springs out of who we are on the inside… This is what truly gives us permission to feel beautiful…

And, you know… Another cool thing…. Is that the beauty of those inner qualities never fades like outward “beauty” so often does.

Our Heavenly Father’s definition of beauty is not limited by the numbers on the scale, how we look in the mirror, or how others have treated us.

…Because true beauty is not determined by those surface standards but by a different and more purposeful set of qualities.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.”                                         Proverbs 31:30-31 NASB

“You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:4 NLT

“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NASB

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